Left Broken Beyond Fixable
by Isabella Jame Swan Cullen
Summary: A young girl, used for her body and charm. How does Bella escape her hell, also known as her life? Enter to find out. 100% personal. Contains adult content. Do not read if easily offended. You have been warned...
1. AN: Warning

**A/N: ****Hi All! So before I start this story I would like to give you a message:**

**This story is ****100% PERSONAL!**** The things in this actually happened to me. So I don't care if you think things in this story would go differently, because they didn't. I don't care if it doesn't write well, because it is my life.**

**This story is not pretty. It doesn't really have a happy ending. But I don't care because it is PERSONAL! **

**This story contains Rape and a lot of Child Prostitution. If you are offended by either topics, please do not read this story.**

**If you feel that this story is crap or unrealistic, then stop reading the story and do not review it telling me so. I went through it. So I know what was real and what wasn't. **

**After all that, if you wish to continue, then please do so at your own accord. **

**You have been warned. **

**Isabella Jame Swan Cullen XxX**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**A/N: So if you are reading this, you have decided that you think you can handle the content in this story. Please feel free to stop reading at any point. And if you are going to criticize my writing, just don't. This is, as mentioned before, 100% personal. So I really don't care what you have to say about it to make it "better". It's real life. Not a just a story I felt like writing. **

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><p>The night of my year five school dance. I was so excited. It was the first year my mum hadn't offered to help. So I would be able to chill out with my best friend. Alice. We had decided that we were going to get ready at her house, since she lived so close to the school. We had finished getting ready and headed to the school. When we got there we were amazed. The school hall had been decorated so well. It didn't even look like our hall anymore. Alice and I walked up to the door and gave the guy there our tickets. He looked at Alice and smiled then he turned to me and looked me up and down a few times before taking my ticket and wishing us a great night. We walked into the hall and started dancing. We were having such a great time. It was so much fun! After a while we got tired so we went and got a drink and sat down on the chairs provided. We were talking, laughing and just having fun. Jasper cam up to us and asked Alice if she wanted to dance. She said yes. Alice had like Jasper since the end of Year 3. I was just sitting there watching Alice dance with Jasper. I heard the chair next to me scrap across the floor and looked up to see who had sat in it. I was shocked to see the guy who took my ticket sitting there looking at me.<p>

"Hey beautiful. My name's Jacob. What's yours?" he asked me

"Bella." I replied scared. My mum had taught me stranger danger.

"Bella... such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl" he said looking at me adoringly.

I looked over towards Alice and saw her looking back at me worried. I mouthed an "It's OK. I'm fine" to her and watched her turn back to continue dancing with Jasper. I didn't want to ruin her moment with Jasper. She had been waiting for so long for a chance like this.

"Bella, would you like to dance?" Jacob asked me

I didn't want to be rude so I agreed. He got up and held out his hand for me to take. I was a little hesitant at first but took his hand, as not to be rude. He led me out of the hall and that's when I knew something was wrong!

"I thought we were going to dance?" I questioned

"We are. But I thought we would dance out here. We don't want anyone to see us now do we?"

"We are just going to be dancing. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. It's just, it would look weird if we were seen dancing together. I mean I am a lot older than you. I'm in Year 11. So we don't want anyone to start talking. Come on lets dance!"

We started dancing then he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. It felt weird. Both good and bad. I'd never been like this with a guy before and that was the good part about it. But he was a stranger and I had only just met him. That was the bad. We stayed like that for about 5 minutes then he lent to my ear and whispered "You will never forget this night! That I promise" into it.

I didn't understand what he was talking about until he bit my earlobe and moved his mouth to mine, crushing his lips down onto my lips. I didn't know what was happening. I was only 10. He picked me up and took me to his car, laid me down on the back seat and got on top of me. I tried to push him off me but he was too strong. He started undoing his pants and pulled them off. Then he took his lips of mine and pulled his shirt of. He was on top of me completely naked. I screamed.

"What are you doing Jacob?"

"Come on Bella! I can tell this is what you want! You don't have to pretend! I know I'm hot! Just relax and have fun!" he replied as he slid his hand up my arm and took my dress off.

Once my dress was off his lips were back on mine and he was raping me. I felt so useless. I didn't respond to anything in the hope that he would stop. But he never did. He moved his lips from mine and whispered into my ear "if you don't start responding it will only get worse!" as he grabbed my butt and squeezed it. It hurt but I thought it best to do as he said. So I pulled his face back to mine and kissed him. It caused him to deepen everything. The kiss, the rape, and the grip he had on my body. When I was out of breathe, I pulled my face away from his. His lips never left my body. He moved to my neck and started kissing and sucking it. I was scared, but I thought if I was brave he would stop.

"OK. You've had your fun! Now I want to return to the dance."

"NO! YOU DESERVE THIS BITCH! I KNEW WHEN I SAW YOU THAT YOU WERE A SLUT! THIS IS WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU! YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT YOUR A WORTHLESS AND GOOD FOR NOTHING EXCEPT THIS!" he screamed as he hit me.

He was on top of me so there was nothing that I could do. He kept hitting me. Across the stomach, the legs, the face. Anywhere and everywhere. It was hurting so much, I started to cry.

"KEEP CRYING AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS SLUT!" was all he screamed.

He kept hitting me and when he had had enough of that he went back to kissing me and raping me. I was sore all over but he didn't care. After about an hour he put his clothes back on and redressed me. Helped me out of the car and led me to the outside of the school.

"If you tell anyone that I did this, I will not be happy. And when I'm not happy, the person who made me unhappy isn't happy either. You got that?"

"Yes." I squeaked

"So when people ask you what happened you are going to tell them that you went to the bathroom and there was a guy in there, he pushed you against the wall and started attacking you. Then he took you outside the school and ran off. I came and found you and helped you out. OK?"

I couldn't speak so I just nodded.

"And if I find out that you told anyone otherwise, we will have another little session of this." he said as he kissed me gently once more.

He led me back into the dance and no one noticed we were gone. Except for Alice. Jacob left to see if there was anything he had to do as a helper of the dance and Alice came up to me.

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><p><strong>So there you have it... Not a pretty start.<strong>

**Isabella Jame Swan Cullen XxX**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: I just wanted to say a huge thankyou to the support I have received from this story… It's been a hard process to relive this and I am so glad of the support that's out there for things like this.**

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><p>"There you are!" she said as she pulled me into a hug. I winced as she did this. Every part of my body was aching. Alice being Alice noticed that I didn't hug her back.<p>

"Bella? What happened? Did Jacob do something to you?"

"NO! Of course not. We just went outside to dance."

"Why did you go outside? What was wrong with the hall?"

"He said that because he was so much older than me it would be weird if he danced in this room with me. So we stood just outside that door." I said as I pointed to the door Jacob and I came in. It hurt to lift my arm due to all the squeezing that Jacob had done. I winced. Alice noticed.

"Come with me!" she said as she grabbed my arm. It hurt a lot. But I tried to hold back the scream of pain and tears.

Alice took me to the bathroom and made me take my jacket off. I tried to keep it on but she ripped it off my shoulders and gasped as soon as she did.

"Bella! Jacob hurt you!" she yelled

I felt terrible. I couldn't lie to Alice. She was my best friend! But I had to. Unless I wanted more abuse. I kept to the story Jacob had told me to say, but added my own little bit knowing full well that Alice knew I had gone outside with Jacob.

"Jacob didn't do this Ali. He saved me! I went to the bathroom by myself and there was a guy in it. He pushed me against a wall and started attacking me. Then he took me out of the school and ran. Jacob came looking for me since we were together before I had to go to the bathroom and found me on the floor outside the school. He had no idea that I was hurt. I'm fine Ali. Trust me."

"OK. If you're sure."

"Yeah. I'm fine."

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><p>It was killing me to lie to Alice, but I couldn't tell her the truth. Not yet at least. A few weeks after the dance I thought Alice had forgotten about the trouble. No such luck. I still had the bruises from Jacob and he was still hanging around the school.<p>

"Bella, you have to tell someone about what happened at the dance. You got a look at the guys face didn't you? The police should be able to find this guy. He can't get away with this. I know you still have the bruises coz its summer and you have a thick jumper on."

"Ali, would you relax? I'm fine. I don't have any bruises anymore. I woke up this morning and felt cold so I put my jumper on."

"Bells, I know you didn't. I swear you forget I know you better than myself. It was so hot this morning and I know how you are with the heat. Any excuse to not wear a jumper. Why are you so scared to let me in? I thought we were best friends!"

"Ali, you know I love you. But really, nothing is wrong. Ok?"

"If nothing is wrong, then why do flinch whenever a guy touches your arm? Or whenever you see Jacob around the school? Bells you have to tell me if he hurt you? I won't tell anyone, I'm just worried for you. Please Bell, let me in? I can help!"

"Ok Ali. I will tell you. But not here. This afternoon at my place. Ok?"

"Yes!" Alice said as she lent forward and hugged me. It didn't hurt to be touched anymore.

But Alice was right. I still flinched every time a guy touched me. Alice didn't miss a thing. Sometimes that was a good thing. Then sometimes, like now, it was a bad thing. I was dreading the end of school. I knew I had nothing to fear but I still felt like Jacob was going to find out and hurt me again. And I definitely didn't want that. But I knew that it was only Alice and she wouldn't tell anyone. When the bell went for the end of the day I met up with Alice and we waited for the bus to take us to my place. When we got to there, we went straight to my room. I shut the door and made sure the windows were locked and closed the blinds.

"Ok. It's safe now. So you know when we went outside we were 'going to dance'?" I started

"Yeah"

"Ok. Well we started dancing then he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. I didn't know what to do so I just went with the flow. We stayed like that for about 5 minutes then he lent to my ear and whispered "You will never forget this night! That I promise". I thought that was a little weird but I thought he was just referring to the dance. Coz it was the first time my mum hadn't offered to volunteer for helping. So I knew, and so did you, that I wasn't going to forget this night. Then he bit my earlobe and moved his mouth to mine, crushing his lips down onto mine. I wasn't sure what to do. Then he picked me up took me to his car and got on top of me, kissed me a few more times then he started to strip. When he was completely naked I asked him what he was doing and he told me that he knew he was hot and that I wanted this and to relax and have fun. He undressed me and forced me to have sex with him. At first I didn't respond but then he said it would only get worse if I didn't and then he squeezed my butt. I thought it was better to do what he said so I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. He deepened everything and when I was out of breath he moved his lips to my neck and started kissing there and sucking it. That's why I've been wearing make-up, coz I have a mark on my neck from him. A big one. That's when I thought it was enough. He was just using me so I told him I wanted to return to the dance and he started yelling at me. He told me that I deserved this and that he knew I was a slut when he saw me and that this was what had to be done to people like me. He told me I was worthless and good for nothing other than what he was doing to me. Then he started hitting me again. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore so I started to cry. I was in so much pain. He told me to keep crying and see what happens. So I tried to stop. When he stopped hitting me, he started again with the kisses and rape. When he had had enough he put his clothes back on, redressed me and took me out of the school. He said that if I told anyone that he did it he would be unhappy and that I would be to coz I would be the one that caused hiss unhappiness. He said that I had to tell anyone that asked that I went to the bathroom and there was a guy in there. He told me to say that the guy pushed me against the wall and hit me. Then he said that the guy took me outside the school and ran off. Then that he came and found me and helped me out. I was in no position to disagree so I just nodded." Tears were starting to form and Alice was about to speak but I wasn't finished so I put my finger up. She closed her mouth and looked to me.

"He told me that if he found out I told anyone something different he would abuse me again. Then he kissed me gently once more and led me back into the dance and then you came up to me. And that's everything that happened" I said. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Alice didn't say anything. She just hugged me and let me cry on her. After about 10 minutes I stopped crying.

"Bella, you know we need to tell someone. Your mum or an adult. He has to be punished. He can't get away with this. What's to say he doesn't do this to someone else! You have to let someone know! You can't let another girl be subjected to Jacob!" she said

"Alice! I can't! He will find me and it will happen all again! I've just gotten over the mental and physical pain of last time! I can't deal with it all over again! You didn't go through it! You don't know what it feels like! You feel dirty after it! I can't! Even if there is a chance he will get caught! If he doesn't, I will know about it! I can't Ali!"

"Bella he RAPED you! You're going to-"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT! I KNOW HE RAPED ME! IM ONLY 10 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IM NOT MEANT TO OF HAD THAT HAPPEN TO ME YET! I KNOW OK!"

Just then my door opened and I saw what I feared.

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><p><strong>So there we have it. The next chapter in my sad tale. <strong>

**Isabella Jame Swan Cullen XxX**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Sorry for the delay in updating! I have had a crazy time at work and couldn't find time to update! But things have calmed down and i am back to normal. So hopefully I will be able to update again on a regular basis...**

_Previously_

_Just then my door opened and I saw what I feared._

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><p>Jacob was standing there looking very frustrated. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of my room away from Alice.<p>

"YOU BITCH! YOU TOTAL SLUT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! YOU WILL REGRET THIS! I PROMISE YOU THAT!"

"Ja..Jacob" I spat out "How did you get in here?"

"Bella, Bella, Bella. I have been watching you for the past few weeks. It was nice to see where you left your spare key when you forgot yours. I used the one under the eve. And I walked in at the right moment. Hearing you yell that you knew you were raped. Aren't you glad it was me and not your mother? But you remember what I said at the dance don't you? If you told anyone I would be seeing you again."

"I'm sorry Jacob but she is my best friend. She knew I was hiding something and I can't lie to her."

"Well you need to learn, don't you?"

"She is like my sister. Hiding things from her is impossible! I'm sorry Jacob!"

"Well I guess I can forgive you. If you give me a little kiss and meet me tomorrow."

I had no other choice I had to agree. So I gave him a kiss and asked him where to meet him. He told me where and then he left. I went back to Alice and explained what had happened, with tears in my eyes.

"Bells, this is perfect. We can tell the cops and they can follow you then take him in!"

"I can't Ali! You don't know what he is capable of! He has friends that will bail him out! And he isn't stupid! The cops are going to have a hard time following me! I'm sure of it…"

"Bells, please! I'm worried for you! You're like a sister to me! I don't want to see you get hurt!"

"I know Ali! But I will be fine! I promise you! If I do as he says I know I will be OK. Alright?"

"OK Bells. If you say so. I just hope it will be OK. I don't want to find your body dead or hear about it on the news! I love you Bells"

"You won't! I promise! I know what to do to calm him down! I just have to agree with what he says and do what he says. I love you to Ali and I love that you're worrying about me! But you don't have to! I can look after myself!"

"OK. Well I should head home. Are you going to be OK?" Alice asked me as she got up

"Yeah. I will be fine. Mum's due home in a few hours. I have home work to do. So I will be busy"

"OK. I will see you tomorrow Bells" she said as she hugged me and left.

I watched her leave and then went to my bathroom to wash my face. I didn't know what to do. I was only 10. I couldn't possibly know. I was just trying to be brave around my friend. All I did know was that Jacob knew what to do, and if I wanted to get through it, I would have to agree to whatever it was that Jacob said. For the first time since this whole ordeal had happened, I was truly worried for my safety. I didn't know if I would make it through the meeting with Jacob. I didn't know when the next time I would see my mum would be. I didn't know when I would see Alice. But I knew that if I wanted to keep them safe, I had to go through with it. Mum didn't come home, so I just made some noodles and went to my room to work on my homework.

The next morning I woke up, confused and rolled over. I didn't remember making it to my bed last night. I instantly jumped up when I felt something next to me. I looked down in my bed and nearly screamed. There lying practically lying naked in my bed was the worst sight I could see. Jacob. I tried to get out of bed without him knowing. I was worried that my mum would find out. As I slid to the edge of the bed and got up his hand grabbed my ass and I screamed.

"What are you doing Jacob? My mum is here! She will scream if she sees you here." I asked him

"No she won't. She left a message on the home phone for you last night. You'd fallen asleep so you never got it. She said she was at Phil's and she would be home late afternoon today. I moved you to your bed. And before you worry, we will have time for our little session. Although maybe we should have a little taster of what we will be doing when I pick you up today."

"Jacob, please! I can't! I need to be in my right mind for school. If I'm not, more than just Alice will find out. And I won't be able to hide it. I'm only 10. I don't know what's going on! I'm scared! And I can't do this right now!"

"Its OK babe. We can just do it later. You don't need to know what is going on. All you need to know is that being with me is the best thing to happen to you. And that I will make you feel special. The way you deserve." he said as he pulled me to him and gave me a kiss.

I didn't know if he was just saying that or if he actually meant it. I remembered him calling me a slut and bitch. And that I was getting what I deserved. But then he says that he would make me feel special. I was confused. I couldn't tell anyone. I knew if I did there was a chance he would only hurt me more! I was so scared. But I had to move on. Live the day and take it the way it came. I had to try my hardest to fake a smile. I walked out of my house and on to my bus. Today I would hide it all. I would smile and laugh and be a happy 10 year old.

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><p><strong>So there we have it. Not a very pretty chapter... Then again this story isn't meant to be pretty... <strong>


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**A/N: So here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long to get up... **

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><p>I got off the bus and stood outside the gates to school for a bit. I pulled out my mirror and made sure that I looked normal; once I was sure of it I walked in and went to find Alice. I knew she would already be worried. She knew the kids on my bus and she knew I was one of the first people who got off it. I found Alice and knew immediately that she knew something was wrong. I was hoping she would just put it to the fact that I was worried about this afternoon and not something else.<p>

"Hey, Ali!" I greeted her cheerfully. I was hoping I might be able to distract her –no such luck.

"Hey, Bells. You look worried. You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Mum ended up spending the night with Phil. So I had the house to myself. I just wanted to see her this morning to get her to sign a note. It was meant to be handed in today, so I hope they will let me hand it in tomorrow."

"You sure that's all it is? You're not worried about this afternoon?"

"No. Why would I be? There's nothing to be worried about. Come on, the bells about to go!"

It didn't help that we were in the same class and sat next to each other. Alice was never one to let things drop. Sometimes, that really annoyed me. And I hated her for it. And this was one of those times.

"What do you think Bells?" Alice said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"About what?"

"Weren't you listening?"

"Sorry, Ali. I must have dazed off."

"Ms Cope just said that she was looking for a group of people to stay back after school a few times a week to help paint a mural on the wall of the school hall. Since she is leaving at the end of the year she wants to put something in the school for us. Do you want to help?"

"When does it start?"

"As soon as she gets at least 5 people to help. This, if we join, will be this afternoon."

"Ali, I can't. Remember mum wants me home early. But I will join and help out tomorrow."

"Your mum? Come on Bells you and I both know it's not your mum your worried about. It's Jacob. Maybe if you did this you would get out of it and then you could just tell him you had a school commitment?"

"Ali, you saw him when he heard me yell it out to you. That was the tame Jacob. If I don't turn up, who knows what he will do. He may kill me or my mother or worse, he may kill you! He saw how close we were. Hell, I even admitted that you were like a sister to me. He will hurt every person I care about until he gets his way. And we both know he knows where the spare key to my house is kept. He can enter at any time and hurt my mum or tell her who he is. I can't risk that Ali. I can't."

"I know, Bells. I was just hoping you wouldn't have to go through with it. I love you too much to see you get hurt. You know you mean the world to me and I want to do anything I can so you don't have to go through with it."

"Alice you know I love you. But this is bigger than just me being forced into something. This is about protecting my family. I have no choice. And so long as I do what he says I will be fine. OK? Don't worry I have this all sorted out."

"I hope so Bells. I really do."

I couldn't respond. So I just smiled at her. When the bell went for lunch, my class was excited about the painting. It turned out that after a while more people in my class thought it would be nice to help Ms Cope. She was loved by all students. And everybody wanted to help her. So it looked like I wouldn't be needed. I walked outside with Alice, barely listening to what she was saying, and then stopped dead in my tracks. Standing outside the gate was Jacob –he was smiling.

"Bells? Earth to Bells? Bella?"

"What? Sorry Alice."

"That's OK. What's wrong?"

I couldn't say anything. Jacob motioned for me to come to him. I turned to Alice and told her I had to go. Then I moved towards him immediately, ignoring her yells and questions. I got to the gate and stood just inside it. Jacob wasn't allowed on school property. So it provided a little bit of safety.

"What do you want Jacob?" I asked, trying to be brave but my voice broke showing my true emotion.

"Now Bella don't be like that. I just wanted to come and make sure that we were still on for this afternoon. I found out that lovely Ms Cope was trying to get kids to help her paint a mural, and that you were interested."

"How did you find out? That was something that only my class knew about. And it was only decided like an hour ago."

"Dear Bella, I have my sources. Anyway, not the point. You were thinking of helping, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I was but I'm going to start tomorrow, because we have plans today. I would never try to ditch anything I have planned with you."

"That's my girl. Baby, why are you standing so far away from me? I thought you would be happy to see me. I'm not to please that I haven't gotten a hug from my girl. And you know what happens when I get upset."

I knew there was nothing I could do. I walked closer to him and gave him a hug. He immediately smiled and lent down to kiss me.

"Jake, don't you think hugging was enough? We don't want rumours to start do we?" I said trying to avoid having to touch him anymore.

"They wouldn't be rumours though would they? I mean, they would say that we are a couple and that is true. So let them." he said, as he crashed his lips onto mine. I knew enough to know that he wouldn't release me until I kissed him back. So I threw my arms around his neck and locked my hands in his hair and kissed him back. He released me and I turned to walk away.

"Bye, babe. I will see you this afternoon." he said as I walked away.

Things had changed… Jacob wasn't worried about us being caught anymore. And that scared me even more. It meant he would not be as reserved…

I really wasn't looking forward to this afternoon.

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><p><strong>There we have it...<strong>

**Let me know what you think!**

**Isabella Jame Swan Cullen XxX**


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